Decortication.
I peeled it off. Layer after layer. Tenderly.
The force didn't really matter though. It was hurt anyway. A rough tug of the layers would have only produced a louder cry. That was the sole difference. But it had to be peeled off.
Too long this was kept. Too long it was held back, hidden, and swept aside whenever the urge to out-pour bubbled beneath the embers. The embers which unfortunately (in timing) but fortunately (to destiny) caught the spark 14 days ago. But wait, isn't timing and destiny related, and inseparable? Well, then what is not. Everything is. Right?
The truth will set me free; or so I believed. Well I believed right. It kind of did. It gave me answers. Answers which I would not have received if I didn't speak the truth. The question is, was I ready for those answers? Did I really need to hear them? Why did I not anticipate the opposite of my expectation? Why did I , after all I have known and learned, trust the answers to be Spring. When in fact, they were still Winter. The answers were Winter. Still Winter.
As I let my guard down and let myself become vulnerable, I once again forsook the accosting of my brains and allowed my heart to take over. Oh how could I have betrayed my own poor heart thus.. Time and time again she proved to me that without the aid of my fabulously incredible brains (really. I've started loving her recently. She is so so good. I wasted so many years without knowing how good she was!) she was just an emotional wreck; beautifully yet powerlessly wrapping her tender yet mighty arms around the intellectual sensations that emanates beauty and wonder. Yet I gave in. And hear I am now.. left by myself, and her, alone. Alone , if not for the Treasure.
Should I even begin to explain the glorious , ardent, beneficent manner in which The Treasure takes care of me. Those who know Him, know..He being the SOLE reason why I still stand in this windy winter. About Him, later. For now, back to the peeling.
I should have snapped it off with the nail of my thumb when it was just a whisper. I should have unhinged it with a swift tug when it framed my window. I should have at least known to press my intellect upon the embers on that Saturday of flying insect-invasion and covered the burn with my smile. But oh I didn't KNOW. I just didn't listen. I just didn't know.
The sad part is that I actually have to peel it off; whereas I thought it was here to stay. To be a seal on me. On my left shoulder, or my wrist, or on my nape, where the calling caressed me. But it had to be peeled off. Reason? Well, why would I seal it against its wish? When it wants to fly ? When its choice is someone else..
Specially when you want its joy to be full -even when it means yours is cruelly crushed. (This is what selflessness does. Oh geez!)This is a democratic system. I honor its individuality.
And love is not self-seeking.
Love lets go.
Easy for them to say.
(c) Anu Madhubhashinie
The force didn't really matter though. It was hurt anyway. A rough tug of the layers would have only produced a louder cry. That was the sole difference. But it had to be peeled off.
Too long this was kept. Too long it was held back, hidden, and swept aside whenever the urge to out-pour bubbled beneath the embers. The embers which unfortunately (in timing) but fortunately (to destiny) caught the spark 14 days ago. But wait, isn't timing and destiny related, and inseparable? Well, then what is not. Everything is. Right?
The truth will set me free; or so I believed. Well I believed right. It kind of did. It gave me answers. Answers which I would not have received if I didn't speak the truth. The question is, was I ready for those answers? Did I really need to hear them? Why did I not anticipate the opposite of my expectation? Why did I , after all I have known and learned, trust the answers to be Spring. When in fact, they were still Winter. The answers were Winter. Still Winter.
As I let my guard down and let myself become vulnerable, I once again forsook the accosting of my brains and allowed my heart to take over. Oh how could I have betrayed my own poor heart thus.. Time and time again she proved to me that without the aid of my fabulously incredible brains (really. I've started loving her recently. She is so so good. I wasted so many years without knowing how good she was!) she was just an emotional wreck; beautifully yet powerlessly wrapping her tender yet mighty arms around the intellectual sensations that emanates beauty and wonder. Yet I gave in. And hear I am now.. left by myself, and her, alone. Alone , if not for the Treasure.
Should I even begin to explain the glorious , ardent, beneficent manner in which The Treasure takes care of me. Those who know Him, know..He being the SOLE reason why I still stand in this windy winter. About Him, later. For now, back to the peeling.
I should have snapped it off with the nail of my thumb when it was just a whisper. I should have unhinged it with a swift tug when it framed my window. I should have at least known to press my intellect upon the embers on that Saturday of flying insect-invasion and covered the burn with my smile. But oh I didn't KNOW. I just didn't listen. I just didn't know.
The sad part is that I actually have to peel it off; whereas I thought it was here to stay. To be a seal on me. On my left shoulder, or my wrist, or on my nape, where the calling caressed me. But it had to be peeled off. Reason? Well, why would I seal it against its wish? When it wants to fly ? When its choice is someone else..
Specially when you want its joy to be full -even when it means yours is cruelly crushed. (This is what selflessness does. Oh geez!)This is a democratic system. I honor its individuality.
And love is not self-seeking.
Love lets go.
Easy for them to say.
(c) Anu Madhubhashinie
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