Cringe

This incident occurred a few weeks ago; however I've not been able to get it out of mind so decided to address it publicly. 

I was hanging out with a few fellow artists at a recording studio making some new tunes. During a break we were musing over our mutual inclination towards South Indian music. We spoke of how fascinating certain songs like "Samajavaragamana" and "Kallolam" were, during which, as we were browsing Youtube, the actors and actresses involved in the songs came into conversation. 

An artist-friend stated his liking towards Pooja Hegde, with an extremely bashful and flirtatious look on his countenance. I agreed to his statement that she is "very cute". Indeed she is a talented and glamourous performer. I then stated that my favorite South Indian actress (and one of my global favorites) is Sai Pallavi- and his immediate involuntary reaction not only surprised me unpleasantly, but also made me quite angry. He without hesitation said "iyoo" , rolled his eyes and made a retching noise - yes, tongue out and all. That was, yes, his immediate response. Noticing the dismay on my face probably, after about 5 seconds, he said "..ah but her acting is superb". Ha. Too late a save, bro! 

After collecting myself from this unexpected gaudy and cringe-y behavior, I realized that there was no use expressing my sentiments then and there, smiled it off trying to digest how although they call themselves artists, their attitudes are as limited as most-non artists are. 

I'm not worried that he doesn't appreciate the natural beauty of Sai Pallavi. Honestly, I appreciate ALL women as human beings, and despite what they look like on screen I don't believe I have a right to judge God's creation. I do judge, but I don't judge people; I judge products and presentations. There is a huge difference between liking/disliking a person and their products/presentations. 

I'm worried about that ugly reaction. True, he may not prefer Pallavi to Pooja (who by the way are two performers from completely different calibers. Pooja is a pretty, hardworking and glamorous girl who was runner up in the Miss India pageant 2010. Sai Pallavi is a beautiful and extremely talented all-rounder, advocating natural and no-make up looks on screen, and a medical practitioner to top it all. Both ladies are commendable and accomplished) but does that give him permission to present a notion that Sai Pallavi makes him 'nauseous'? And to be honest, the girl is gorgeous, and definitely does not deserve a retching reaction- even from the most foolish. And here I am talking to an "artist" . 

This isn't his fault really. I've noticed that the majority of us in this country seem to have this ugly behaviors and attitudes which are rooted in our own insecurities, narrow-mindedness , and limited intellect. In short, our dumb Sri Lankanness. 

Why do we have such distinct notions of "ugly" and "beautiful" ? And where do these notions come from? We are fed by the media, what senses perceive superfluously. No intellectual depth. No deep thinking. By these attitudes alone most of our young girls are also fed- unfortunately. Show some skin, you'll get thousands of followers. Have some depth in soul, you are considered abstract and elusive. 

I honestly don't care what the majority of any community looks, or appears to prefer. I myself never pursue perfection (also, my perception of perfection is completely different to yours so don't get me started on that!) as an artist or an individual- I pursue excellence, gentleness, compassion. I may fail everyday, but I try. What I do care is the way we react and respond to those we don't agree with. 

Will add something to elaborate further. During a conversation with a popular music producer of our time recently I was just casually sharing with him how a certain artist has produced a song which is 98% similar to an extremely famous song featured in a recent Bollywood movie - my intention was for him to know my appreciation towards the fact that none of his music were blatant imitations as such. He suddenly turned around and asked me "So you're not a fan of X? " . I laughed inside. People have still not realized the difference of being a "fan" of someone and admiring someone as a person. I told him directly that I can not call myself a fan of X's as I don't usually listen to X's music- and that even this particular song in reference I heard while someone else was playing it in their vehicle while I was with them- but that as a person X seems to be very nice, although I haven't met X personally as yet. The producer had a grimace on his face. I doubt he really understood me, but honestly I don't have energy or time to explain myself to those who don't understand, anymore. 

Now you would obviously realize that my attitude towards the afore-mentioned artist who 'retched' at Pallavi's mention has drastically changed. I never was his "fan" either, but I believed he was a nice person. This incident, however, showed me that there was a long way for him to go to reach the hemisphere of "nice"; at least in my perspective. 

A human being can be easily judged and analyzed by their subconscious and habitual behavior. Their action and response during non-purposeful banter, the way they perceive society, the way their senses function, and their general ethics can easily showcase who someone really is. It is seriously not about one person here. I'm sure many of you have to deal with unnecessary yet appalling minute incidents such as this that defines life and what changes that are needed to be made. 

Gandhi ji stated very rightly that "we" need to be the change that we need to see in the world. 

I see change but oh dear I feel it will take a lot of prayer and patience to wait until this change permeates through all levels in society. 

I feel that as artists, if our attitudes are so unrefined, then we have no right to judge the overall society at all..!

Shall we be nice people, and respect human beings for who they are, despite what they produce? Go on, hate their work, hate their products, but stop judging the PERSON. They are as human as you are, however different they may be. 

In the present times when validation is judged by virtual likes/dislikes , numbers of followers, view-counts, it's tough to swim upstream, but shall we at least try? As artists? As people who are supposed to have more compassion and depth than the rest? As those who are supposed to be more respectful, honoring, and loving? 

I don't know about you. I will try each day to live this different life. I'd rather stay on my own path creating my own route of goodness rather than mingling with the muck of communal rut, distastefulness, and irresolute ugliness of thought. 

..at least I will have a route to call just mine. 

©

Photo credit : Rukshan David 

                                    

Images of Sai Pallavi and Pooja Hegde from : pinterest